At some point over the past few years, my mind has begun to function in images rather than words. Or rather, I used to use words to communicate the images in my head, but somewhere along the way I lost my ability to translate one to the other. Photography has sort of taken the place of poetry for me, as far as a creative outlet goes. I still try to write, but this blog is the perfect example of my losing struggle to collect random nonsensical images and make them into something that someone else can look at and understand. I tend to be scatter-brained and disconnected inside, and finding the right medium to focus those thoughts into something linear has been quite difficult for me.
I have decided my next technological purchase should be a new camera. I am considering going digital, but I don't know. I've been very happy with my manual, but I find more and more that I am limited in when and where I can photo because I don't have adequate lighting. Built in flashes are always awful, but with my AE-1, the after-market flash I can purchase is even worse. It requires you to calculate the exposure for your shot, then recalculate for the flash, then shoot. This makes candid photography particularly difficult. Portraits are hard enough to accomplish as it is, and I certainly can't imagine trying to shoot already flighty animals.
"Yes, please hold still, would you? Just a few minutes more."
I may as well be shooting portraits of saloon girls and cowboys in 1862.
This week my friend Chris came to visit with his cute little digi which is far more advanced than mine. We were both shooting on automatic at the aquarium, yet every one of his photos came out clear and beautiful and displaying vivid color. Mine were blurry, dark or over-exposed depending on whether I used the flash or not, and overall, generally disappointing.
During her visit over Thanksgiving, Janelle let me play around with her high end Canon digital, which cost something like $1800 I think. I liked it, but at the same time it felt like a little much for me to handle. It seemed overwhelmingly large and complicated. Which has me leaning back toward sticking to manual for my art photos and just getting an upgraded digital for the fun stuff. But I'd really like to start being able to just shoot people and places whenever the urge to strikes me. I need something I can easily carry with me, and preferably something I can use indoors as well as out. I'm not sure that exists yet.
I don't have the money for anything at the moment anyway. The best thing to do I suppose, is get out and shoot what I can with what I've got. If it would just stop fucking raining...today could have been the perfect day to wander and shoot, and it's pouring. Growlies.