Tuesday, March 30, 2010

152. Analogue Girl

When I moved into my one bedroom apartment 2 1/2 months ago, I made the decision not to sign up for any sort of television service. I'm on a budget, and seeing as how I really don't watch much anyway, it didn't seem like there was much point. This didn't stop me from spending $380 on a flat screen 32" television, however. I should have just bought something off Craigslist, but at the time, it seemed that wall mounting a tv was really the only solution for my living room. Ironically, I lost my receipt shortly before I discovered that hanging a television over your fireplace is not a good idea if you intend to sit on the floor and play video games, as it will undoubtedly lead to a lot of neck pain.

So anyway, I've been experimenting with new ways to spend my time, now that I have freed myself of being a complete couch potato. At first, this involved a lot of drinking while obtaining and listening to music, or watching episodes of Lost on Hulu (which is virtually the same as being a couch potato, except with less commercials). And of course, I spend the majority of my free time texting this really fantastic blonde boy. But now that I feel like I've finally settled in to my apartment, I'm beginning to find better uses for my energies (except of course, the texting - I have no intention of cutting back on that). Recent projects have included the very tedious hyper-organizing of the photos stored on my laptop, the sending of postcards, and making crude doodles on every piece of notebook paper I find lying around.

I'm discovering I kind of like writing letters. Which I only started doing because I felt that I owed my brother quite a few, considering he's been writing me intermittently for nearly a year, whenever he isn't living with me. Unfortunately, this has led to the realization that my life is fairly uninteresting, and I find that I put off writing anything to anyone because I'm too bored with myself to bother. So my new plan is to begin fabricating complete and total lies for fun. Fictional letters, I guess.

What else...Photoshop still mystifies me for the most part. I need to do something about that. I've fallen in love with double exposures and want to try them (thanks Flickr, for reminding me!). I just need to order more film first. I'm also cooking a lot more, since eating like a bachelor over my sink is getting a little old. I'm perfecting my own version of curry, which is probably dangerous. It's not exactly healthy, and I could totally see myself eating it almost every day. And then the viola. I am slowly becoming more disciplined about practice. Because it's not that I don't like playing...I just have difficulty making myself do it for some reason.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

151. Happy Belated, Charlie Brown

It occurred to me just now that I missed my cat's birthday. It was two days ago. His eighth, though I have no idea what that equates to in cat years. In fact, now that I think of it, no one ever refers to anything cat years. Fortunately, cats don't seem to mind when a person forgets to say things like, "Happy Birthday, Mow", or "Many happy returns". I did manage to give him a mound of tuna on top of his kibble that day, so perhaps I subconsciously remembered somehow.

Better late than never, I suppose. Happy Birthday, Salem!

Monday, March 15, 2010

150. Haiku

Fingers etch patterns
in your spine, as if seeking
some deeper meaning

Monday, March 8, 2010

149. Monday, March 8, 2010

I'm debating what to do with this blog. Frankly, it's a scattered mess. I feel like it was sort of a place to store bits and pieces of my brain when they had no where else to go. Only lately, I have less and less of a need to put things here. Maybe because I've compartmentalized myself into other places, like Flickr and Facebook, and a private blog I'm using as a journal. Mostly, I think it was intended to cheer me up when I was horribly depressed. Only now I'm not depressed, so the whole thing feels a little pointless. I mean, I named it Spilt Milk for a reason.

That's kind of huge for me though...to be able to say that I am actually happy. I spent so long being unhappy that finally being on my own and living my life the way I want is a huge relief. I have all the freedom in the universe to be anybody I want. It's easy to say that I had that freedom all along, but it isn't true. I'm still discovering how much being with the wrong person can affect you, in ways you don't even realize until you can stand back and see things from outside the situation. I don't regret being with him at all, but I am glad that I was finally able to admit to myself that it wasn't working.

So I'm reorganizing everything. Making all the changes I've always wanted to and trying to get myself moving in the right direction. Which leaves the question of this blog. Do I save it, or start something fresh? I can't decide. I just know that I keep coming back to it and wondering what would make anyone other than me want to read it. What do I have to write about now that I'm not unhappy?