Tests are done. Papers turned in. Suddenly, I am faced with an influx of free time, and I'm not sure what to do with myself. I should have planned this, maybe.
It's been a chilly and rainy day, so I didn't go running. I'm a pansy. Hopefully tomorrow?
The Wizard and I spent most of the day cooking together. For breakfast, we attempted crepes filled with a mixed berry compote, and fish tacos for dinner.
Crepes sounded deliciously simple, but execution proved itself pretty tricky. Rather than two perfect, thin crepes, I think I over-buttered the pan, and we ended up with one double-thick version. We just opted to cut it in half, and it still tasted fantastic. I think that the next attempt will be a savory version, and we'll try non-stick spray with butter at the end for flavor.
The fish tacos went a bit more smoothly. I made cole slaw from scratch, which we paired with crunchy little catfish nuggets which had been beer-battered and then rolled in panko bread crumbs before we shallow fried them. Garnished with diced tomatoes, a little sriracha, and fresh cilantro, all bundled together in a sun-dried tomato tortilla. EAT IT! IT'S GREAT.
These are the faces of creatures who hope some of that tastiness will land on the floor.
Since then, I've been toying with an idea for a painting. My process has gone pretty much like this:
Me: "I have no idea what I'm doing."
Wizard: "That's ok, just try things, and see what happens."
Me: "I do, and they always come out embarrassing."
Wizard: "You just need practice."
Me: "I feel like I'm just wasting materials. Paint is expensive, canvas is expensive..."
Wizard: "It's no big deal, just play with it."
Me: "You don't understand. I suck. This is horrible. I have no idea what I'm DOING. You say just do this, and I can't DO that."
Wizard: "Ok, what if you just try doing some blind contours of things? Just sketch in charcoal first, and if you like it, you can paint over it."
And that's what I'm doing. I've got a background done. Then we decided that maybe the orchid we bought last week might be fun to sketch, so I'm practicing in pencil while I wait for the paint to dry. I'm going to wait until tomorrow before I venture to sketch on canvas, but I feel a little better about this than I did my previous...vague...composition I was attempting to come up while I was mid-application of paint.
I'm needy. I'm going to say that right now.
All of my problems come back to the fact that I am afraid of making a wrong move, so I stand here paralyzed, not making any move at all.
Fuck if I know. It's infuriating to me, too.
Do you ever just want to shake yourself?
All. The TIME.
Anyway, don't mistake me. I have had a fantastic day, and I'm sort of wallowing in happiness at present. Maybe that's just a side effect of the rain. I don't feel like anything is really lacking, and I am delighted by what I have to be thankful for.
Very much looking forward to my bake-off post with Mr. Rowan. I guess you can't really call it a bake-off, because it's not a competition.
But we gonna bake. And it's gonna be awesome.
It's going to be a good week.