Tuesday, July 3, 2012

306. I Am Elaine Benes


I stopped to drop off my rent check this morning, which gets deposited in a little metal mailbox at this house on Arsenal, across the street from my favorite park.

As I parked my car and got out, I noticed an older, heavyset woman digging around in the flower bed bordering the sidewalk in front of the house. She glanced up at me briefly, but immediately turned back to digging up plants. Her face was down, body orientated so that she was facing away from me, and appeared to be completely absorbed in what she was doing.

There were a lot of cars driving by, and it was very loud. 

As I walked up the steps to the gate, I kind of heard her muttering about something, but she wasn't looking at me or making any sign that she was speaking to me.

I dropped my check in the mailbox and turned to walk back to my car. As I paused at the top of the stairs to shut the wrought iron gate behind me, she looked straight at me and snarled, “STUCK UP!

Me (flabbergasted): “Excuse me?”
Garden Troll: “ You’re STUCK UP!!! I said hi to you TWICE!”
Me: “I’m sorry, I couldn’t hear you at all. There’s a lot of traffic and it's really loud.”
Garden Troll (in the snottiest voice she had): “O-KAAAAY.”

.....?

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