This evening we returned home from dinner with friends' to find the dog had peed all over our two month old mattress. The nicest mattress that the Wizard and I have ever owned. The largest purchase we have ever made together excluding apartment rent is now soaked in the urine of a vindictive canine. The mattress was a measly $400. We're poor, and we got a very good deal.
It's lovely and firm, and we sleep like rocks on it.
I took him running with me before work this morning. He was let out prior to our leaving the house. He had little reason to be displeased, beyond the fact that he was left behind with the cat.
There's not a lot you can do to save a mattress once it's been defiled as ours has. Supposedly, you can try steam cleaning it, but I don't own a steam cleaner. Instead, I tried to salvage it by hand. I dumped hot water on it repeatedly and drew the liquid out with dry towels. Then I saturated it in Shout, scrubbed it, dumped more hot water on it, and drew that out. It's currently drying face down with a fan blowing across the damp patch. It smells exactly like Shout, which is quite pleasant, and all signs of discoloration are gone.
The dog has been banished to the porch of solitude for the time being to think about what he's done. He knew. They say a dog has no concept of what they did when you punish them after the fact. I can assure you, this is not true. He was acting really nervous and sketchy from the moment we came in the door. So suspicious was his behavior, I knew he had done something wrong and went looking for it. He probably has another 10 minutes before he's forgiven, maybe less.
I have trouble staying angry at a face like that.
Well, that, and Manhattans have a strangely calming effect on a person.